那么快，就要毕业了。就在明年的四月尾 / 五月。
三年。一眨眼就过了。回想起那时，妈妈和奶奶陪着我去面试，爸妈陪我一起去签合约。所有的所有，造就了今天的我。
在2013年4月8日，我来到了新加坡。从机场到宿舍的那段路，看着窗外的树林，对自己说了：这是新的开始。
这两年多，遇到了很多人，懂得了很多事。据说 在17-23岁之间，我们会遇到很多暂时性的朋友。
没关系，朋友再交就有了。那些不珍惜，不了解你的，放手呗~~ 他们到最后就会知道谁对谁错，谁值得珍惜。但到时就太迟了 :)
虽常说，好怀念以前的时光。但过去就是过去，回不到从前了。
：最奢侈的一句话就是，好想回到以前。因为这根本不可能。
爸妈健康开始出了问题，真的很担心。
可是我毕业了却回不来照顾他们。如果真的有什么三长两短，我真的会很自责。
每次回来，就看到他们脸上多了皱纹，白发多了。
爷爷奶奶也是.....毕竟爷爷已经70多，奶奶也快70了。感谢他们还健在，还健健康康的。
说个爷爷奶奶的趣事 XD
一、
爷爷：今天煲了当归给你喝 ((女人补身子用，驱寒))
奶奶：做莫今天煲？今天都没下雨，很热叻
爷爷：哇，煲当归还要看日子的哈？
之后爷爷就一直用这个来开玩笑 XD
二、
奶奶：我听到外面都有人说我很可怜，因为你（爷爷）不给我出门
爷爷：是啊，每次有人在早市遇到我就问起你，我就开玩笑说我不让你出门的
奶奶：你看你看，你自己讲到这样
哈哈，其实爷爷很疼奶奶，每次自己去早市买煮饭材料，让奶奶在家休息。下午奶奶都会出去找她的姐妹，留下爷爷一个人在家.. 哎哟
以前他们常常吵架。记得我小时候，他们一吵架，我就说：爷爷奶奶别吵架了。
现在可能知道彼此时间不少了，真的很恩爱。好羡慕他们 <3 真爱啊~~~
Friday, October 16, 2015
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
When you finally realize they aren't worth it. by Kaitlyn MacKinnon
Maybe you met someone new. Or maybe, this person has always been a part of your life. You spend every single day talking to them, or seeing them. Maybe it’s a friend or maybe it’s a significant other.
You’re not sure if the signs have always been there, but one day you start to notice them. Being the kind of person who likes to give people the benefit of the doubt, you push those signs under the rug.
You put more effort and time into this relationship than they do. They can call you in the middle of the night for anything, or any time of the day, and you will drop everything you’re doing to be there for them. Maybe your car breaks down and you need a ride…but they don’t answer there phone. Maybe you’ve had a rough day at work and you just need to talk…but they’re too busy with they’re other friends.
Yet again, you ignore it. “They’re a good person,” you tell yourself. And maybe that’s true. It’s probably true. But they’re not a good person to you.
You start to realize that the relationship becomes extremely one-sided. They start to use you for their benefit, and they don’t really give a shit about how you feel. Again, you tell yourself, “Maybe they’re just stressed out. This will pass.” They’ve been around for so long that you’re not willing to give them up.
But it won’t pass. They will continue to be a parasite in your life because you allow it. They continue to treat people in their lives like shit because no one stops them. You’re afraid to say anything about it because you love them and you thought they loved you too, and you’re afraid to lose them. You can’t see your life without them in it.
It keeps happening. Instead of getting out of it and finding others who make you happy, you continue to wallow in the dim light of hatred that is starting to grow brighter towards them. They do nice things for other friends, why can’t they do the same for you? You’d do anything for them, why can’t they do the same for you? These people see nothing wrong with their actions. They believe that the world owes them everything.
The point comes where you stay because you think you need them more than they need you. “I need them,” you say. “I will plummet into a deep hole of darkness without them.” You have yourself convinced of this. Someday, you’ll realize that they needed you more than you needed them. Until then, you’re going to cry more than you should, and question your own worth as a person.
One day, you’re going to wake up and realize that they’re not worth it. They’re not worth the feeling of having no one to depend on. They’re not worth the shitty treatment you receive. They’re not worth feeling alone over. They aren’t worth losing sleep over. They’re not worth falling into a rut for, because they sure as hell won’t be the one to pull you out of it. No one can put a value of worth on you but yourself. You’ll realize that you can’t change someone who sees nothing wrong with their actions.
And then you’re going to do something about it. Maybe you’ll confront them. Or maybe, maybe you’ll take immediate action to cut all ties with them. Delete their number. Unfriend them on Facebook. Block them on every platform of social media. Stop hanging out with them. Get rid of every window into their life.
And then? You’re going to feel so much better. You’re going to be happy. You’re going to find positive people who will give as much as they receive. You’re going to feel the venom and negativity exiting your life. You’re going to wish you did it sooner. You’re going to put a higher value on your own life and feelings. You’re going to finally realize that you DO deserve so much better.
You’re going to remember how it felt to feel like you couldn’t live without them. One day, you’re going to wake up and not even think about them. Days, weeks, months, and maybe even years will pass without a single goddamn thought about them.
You’re not sure if the signs have always been there, but one day you start to notice them. Being the kind of person who likes to give people the benefit of the doubt, you push those signs under the rug.
You put more effort and time into this relationship than they do. They can call you in the middle of the night for anything, or any time of the day, and you will drop everything you’re doing to be there for them. Maybe your car breaks down and you need a ride…but they don’t answer there phone. Maybe you’ve had a rough day at work and you just need to talk…but they’re too busy with they’re other friends.
Yet again, you ignore it. “They’re a good person,” you tell yourself. And maybe that’s true. It’s probably true. But they’re not a good person to you.
You start to realize that the relationship becomes extremely one-sided. They start to use you for their benefit, and they don’t really give a shit about how you feel. Again, you tell yourself, “Maybe they’re just stressed out. This will pass.” They’ve been around for so long that you’re not willing to give them up.
But it won’t pass. They will continue to be a parasite in your life because you allow it. They continue to treat people in their lives like shit because no one stops them. You’re afraid to say anything about it because you love them and you thought they loved you too, and you’re afraid to lose them. You can’t see your life without them in it.
It keeps happening. Instead of getting out of it and finding others who make you happy, you continue to wallow in the dim light of hatred that is starting to grow brighter towards them. They do nice things for other friends, why can’t they do the same for you? You’d do anything for them, why can’t they do the same for you? These people see nothing wrong with their actions. They believe that the world owes them everything.
The point comes where you stay because you think you need them more than they need you. “I need them,” you say. “I will plummet into a deep hole of darkness without them.” You have yourself convinced of this. Someday, you’ll realize that they needed you more than you needed them. Until then, you’re going to cry more than you should, and question your own worth as a person.
One day, you’re going to wake up and realize that they’re not worth it. They’re not worth the feeling of having no one to depend on. They’re not worth the shitty treatment you receive. They’re not worth feeling alone over. They aren’t worth losing sleep over. They’re not worth falling into a rut for, because they sure as hell won’t be the one to pull you out of it. No one can put a value of worth on you but yourself. You’ll realize that you can’t change someone who sees nothing wrong with their actions.
And then you’re going to do something about it. Maybe you’ll confront them. Or maybe, maybe you’ll take immediate action to cut all ties with them. Delete their number. Unfriend them on Facebook. Block them on every platform of social media. Stop hanging out with them. Get rid of every window into their life.
And then? You’re going to feel so much better. You’re going to be happy. You’re going to find positive people who will give as much as they receive. You’re going to feel the venom and negativity exiting your life. You’re going to wish you did it sooner. You’re going to put a higher value on your own life and feelings. You’re going to finally realize that you DO deserve so much better.
You’re going to remember how it felt to feel like you couldn’t live without them. One day, you’re going to wake up and not even think about them. Days, weeks, months, and maybe even years will pass without a single goddamn thought about them.
Look at you, living and shit. Good things are coming.
Sunday, July 12, 2015
更新
好久没来更新了。既然闲着没事做，就来更新下吧。
今年刚好我生日时，是学校假期。
偷偷的先去了她那。与她度过了一星期。每次一星期都那么快过 :/
就在12号(星期五)，她拿了off。但是我们都没地方去 哈哈
就在家，她按她的电话，我按我的。
Po了个状态说，没地方去。结果就有朋友约我出门。一个约去sky bar，一个约电影。到最后一起决定去了sky bar。
当晚，我家吡出门帮我买晚餐，有点好奇怎么她不带我出门，不过这样也好，我可以在家煲戏。
我都看完一集了，她却还没回来。原来她去排队买榴莲~~傻傻的
13号，晚上准备出门，与她穿了同样色的衣服 哈哈 帮她化妆
每次都嫌我 把她化得像吴亦凡 -3- 帅嘛
我第一次去sky bar，那边的风景不错，装潢也很好 很有feel
但当晚天不作美，吹大风，下大雨 :( 我们就去了室内360°旋转餐厅
就在我们全在打打闹闹的时候，全部人安静了。我就奇怪发生什么事
隐隐约约看到反射，看见了火光。
突然间他们唱起生日歌 0.0 什么???! 发生什么事
我当场呆了几秒。怎么我会被蒙在鼓里? 他们几时计划的?? 0,0
walaoo 我第一次收到这么有惊喜的生日。
超感动，可是没眼泪 XD 我知道他们都想看我哭 哈哈
原来那时出门买晚餐时，还去订了蛋糕。
我超开心 超喜欢。谢谢吡的准备。
<3 今年的生日最棒了
今年刚好我生日时，是学校假期。
偷偷的先去了她那。与她度过了一星期。每次一星期都那么快过 :/
就在12号(星期五)，她拿了off。但是我们都没地方去 哈哈
就在家，她按她的电话，我按我的。
Po了个状态说，没地方去。结果就有朋友约我出门。一个约去sky bar，一个约电影。到最后一起决定去了sky bar。
当晚，我家吡出门帮我买晚餐，有点好奇怎么她不带我出门，不过这样也好，我可以在家煲戏。
我都看完一集了，她却还没回来。原来她去排队买榴莲~~傻傻的
13号，晚上准备出门，与她穿了同样色的衣服 哈哈 帮她化妆
每次都嫌我 把她化得像吴亦凡 -3- 帅嘛
我第一次去sky bar，那边的风景不错，装潢也很好 很有feel
但当晚天不作美，吹大风，下大雨 :( 我们就去了室内360°旋转餐厅
就在我们全在打打闹闹的时候，全部人安静了。我就奇怪发生什么事
隐隐约约看到反射，看见了火光。
突然间他们唱起生日歌 0.0 什么???! 发生什么事
我当场呆了几秒。怎么我会被蒙在鼓里? 他们几时计划的?? 0,0
walaoo 我第一次收到这么有惊喜的生日。
超感动，可是没眼泪 XD 我知道他们都想看我哭 哈哈
原来那时出门买晚餐时，还去订了蛋糕。
我超开心 超喜欢。谢谢吡的准备。
<3 今年的生日最棒了
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
Surprise? ^//^
20号(SUN)。她突然出现在我面前
我没想到她真的会过来给我惊喜 XD 我早几天就已经在怀疑了
她 “你星期六星期日一定在家睡到像猪的吼?”
我 “没有啊”
她 “蛤? 会去哪里?”
我 “Zhim妈妈的理发店，染头发”
她 “ohhhh 怎样去?”
我 “做莫叻?” (开始怀疑)
她 “没有啦 我弟弟可能要去那边理发啊 所以就问看是在哪里咯” (那么可爱的理由 XD)
。。我就教她怎么走。。
星期六晚上，
我严重怀疑她会来新加坡。于是就试探她
我 “怎样? 明天又做什么节目?”
她 “还不知道叻” (她在那边暗笑)
我 “那你记得Zhim妈妈的店怎样去吗?”
她 “记得~ (讲完整个路程)”
然后她还一直说 “哎哟 很夜料 我要睡觉了”
哈哈哈 太明显了 ><
结果我一整晚睡不着 找Zhim聊天 一直说她会过来的事情 哈哈哈哈哈哈
凌晨4点才停止信息。但我还是躺到了接近5点才醒来
他妈的 每当我要睡着的时候 就会想到她 就会一直笑 -3- 结果越拖越迟
星期日一早，把房间整理了后才出门。
当我在染头发的时候 Zhim手机响了。我看见她皱眉头下，接听后就很诡异的看着我
我就知道！啊啊啊啊啊啊~~ 她来了 ><
Zhim出去接她，她走过来就站在门口，对我说 HI
虽然我已预料到，但是还是超惊喜的！
她就在那等我等了4小时多吧 -3- 过后我就拿着我的行李，陪她去酒店住。
我们在那住了7天6夜，因为她来这里training。
awwww 每天谁早回到就等另一半回来。
还记得第一天的时候 她说要出来接我 哈哈 可是不懂怎么走 XD 很开心
发生了很多有趣的事情。最喜欢跟她一起了 <3
然后 这个劳动节 她又会来了 也是一个礼拜~
期待期待 <3 我们也过了我们的一周年，希望未来会有多多的周年 heheeeee
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
再次 见面。
22 Feb - 2 Mar
22号，大清早的 她独自来到吉打接我
一起吃了早餐，再和她朋友吃。午餐在她朋友家吃好吃的咸米粉
下午3点多开车回去槟城。一路上她憋尿憋得好辛苦 >< 因为塞车
陪着她去医院看她堂哥刚出生的孩子，很遗憾已经被收进去，看不到
晚餐与她家人吃晚餐。或许真的是我太出众(化妆)，她家人都盯着我看
全部人都是用hokkien聊天，我就一头雾水的听她翻译给我听 XD
23号，白天她做工，我就乖乖的陪在旁边
晚上由于怕塞车的缘故，她骑着摩托载我出去吃晚餐
之后上极乐寺看看。虽然到最后我们流了好多汗，但是好开心 ^^ 第一次被她用摩托载。
24号，白天她做工
晚上吃了晚餐就一起到她家附近的草场放鞭炮
由于我太久没放炮，每点一次恐龙蛋 我都会喊 XD
25号，白天她做工~
晚上约了我可爱的妹妹在夜市，一起吃晚餐
我们还买了韩国烧酒喝，幸好她也买了cider。不然我不懂要怎么喝下那烧酒
喝了一半我就已经开始傻笑了。19% alcohol
她爸爸跟我说话，我就一直在那傻笑 哈哈哈
之后我们又去放炮了。
26号，白天她做工~~但是在外面做工
之后陪她去剪头发。剪出来后完全是 帅！哈哈 (其实之后我一直在偷偷发花痴)
傍晚，我们去了Coffee On The Table咖啡厅。因为听说咖啡是3D的
我们点了tiramisu cake还有hazelnut latte。3D的超级卡哇伊
到最后被她吃下肚子了 X'D
完了以后我们到Gurney海边吹海风 聊天。我真的超喜欢海的
接近12点，我跟着她去见她的家人，准备拜天公。这是我一生中第一次拜天公 感觉很新奇
大半夜的吃了不少东西 哈哈。
27号，白天她做工~~~
晚上的晚餐是她亲自下厨煮的意大利面，好多好多的蘑菇 0.0
之后我们俩又去放炮了，放完所有的炮
我一直拿点火机来烧叶子，结果一直被她讲 XD
睡觉前跟我的朋友webcam了下。哈哈 超级38
28号，早上11点多到Saanen Goat Farm参观。那边的羊都好可爱
我们买了用羊奶做的黑糖馒头当早餐，好好吃
在午餐前，我们去了一趟海边。Pulau Betong。全槟城最干净的海
脚浸在凉凉的海水里，超舒服
午餐我们去吃海鲜，泰式的鱼，吃的很过瘾
之后还去了客家分寨。
傍晚到医院去看她的外婆，希望她能健康起来
晚上我们去了庙会，超大型的新年活动。看了很多表演，尤其是那24节令鼓 超棒！
这天我们做到最多事情的一天 XD 而且也是我们的第10个月 <3
1号，原本会在这天回安顺的
因为我赖床的缘故，赖赖下赖到1点多 -3- 嘿............
我们在4点多的时候才解决我们的午餐 嘿.............
之后就回家看戏 -- 《食神》 喜欢被她抱着的感觉~ 嘿.................
2号，原本该8点醒的我们，一直拖到10点多才起身。原因? 又是我赖床 >< 嘿..............
然后出发去了北海，买了车票，吃了午餐，喝了chatime
回到巴士站就接近2点了。到时间离开了。
感觉想哭但哭不出。超级超级想她。
她所做的一举一动，让我觉得很安心
每次都只看着我，照顾着我，保护着我。
让我爱得无药可救 <3
虽然这还有很久，但我很想与她一起度过之后的日子。一起生活
你问我会选择槟城还是新加坡。我会认真的考虑清楚的 ;)
22号，大清早的 她独自来到吉打接我
一起吃了早餐，再和她朋友吃。午餐在她朋友家吃好吃的咸米粉
下午3点多开车回去槟城。一路上她憋尿憋得好辛苦 >< 因为塞车
陪着她去医院看她堂哥刚出生的孩子，很遗憾已经被收进去，看不到
晚餐与她家人吃晚餐。或许真的是我太出众(化妆)，她家人都盯着我看
全部人都是用hokkien聊天，我就一头雾水的听她翻译给我听 XD
23号，白天她做工，我就乖乖的陪在旁边
晚上由于怕塞车的缘故，她骑着摩托载我出去吃晚餐
之后上极乐寺看看。虽然到最后我们流了好多汗，但是好开心 ^^ 第一次被她用摩托载。
24号，白天她做工
晚上吃了晚餐就一起到她家附近的草场放鞭炮
由于我太久没放炮，每点一次恐龙蛋 我都会喊 XD
25号，白天她做工~
晚上约了我可爱的妹妹在夜市，一起吃晚餐
我们还买了韩国烧酒喝，幸好她也买了cider。不然我不懂要怎么喝下那烧酒
喝了一半我就已经开始傻笑了。19% alcohol
她爸爸跟我说话，我就一直在那傻笑 哈哈哈
之后我们又去放炮了。
26号，白天她做工~~但是在外面做工
之后陪她去剪头发。剪出来后完全是 帅！哈哈 (其实之后我一直在偷偷发花痴)
傍晚，我们去了Coffee On The Table咖啡厅。因为听说咖啡是3D的
我们点了tiramisu cake还有hazelnut latte。3D的超级卡哇伊
到最后被她吃下肚子了 X'D
完了以后我们到Gurney海边吹海风 聊天。我真的超喜欢海的
接近12点，我跟着她去见她的家人，准备拜天公。这是我一生中第一次拜天公 感觉很新奇
大半夜的吃了不少东西 哈哈。
27号，白天她做工~~~
晚上的晚餐是她亲自下厨煮的意大利面，好多好多的蘑菇 0.0
之后我们俩又去放炮了，放完所有的炮
我一直拿点火机来烧叶子，结果一直被她讲 XD
睡觉前跟我的朋友webcam了下。哈哈 超级38
28号，早上11点多到Saanen Goat Farm参观。那边的羊都好可爱
我们买了用羊奶做的黑糖馒头当早餐，好好吃
在午餐前，我们去了一趟海边。Pulau Betong。全槟城最干净的海
脚浸在凉凉的海水里，超舒服
午餐我们去吃海鲜，泰式的鱼，吃的很过瘾
之后还去了客家分寨。
傍晚到医院去看她的外婆，希望她能健康起来
晚上我们去了庙会，超大型的新年活动。看了很多表演，尤其是那24节令鼓 超棒！
这天我们做到最多事情的一天 XD 而且也是我们的第10个月 <3
1号，原本会在这天回安顺的
因为我赖床的缘故，赖赖下赖到1点多 -3- 嘿............
我们在4点多的时候才解决我们的午餐 嘿.............
之后就回家看戏 -- 《食神》 喜欢被她抱着的感觉~ 嘿.................
2号，原本该8点醒的我们，一直拖到10点多才起身。原因? 又是我赖床 >< 嘿..............
然后出发去了北海，买了车票，吃了午餐，喝了chatime
回到巴士站就接近2点了。到时间离开了。
感觉想哭但哭不出。超级超级想她。
她所做的一举一动，让我觉得很安心
每次都只看着我，照顾着我，保护着我。
让我爱得无药可救 <3
虽然这还有很久，但我很想与她一起度过之后的日子。一起生活
你问我会选择槟城还是新加坡。我会认真的考虑清楚的 ;)
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